From Knowing the Answer to Asking Better Questions

Physicians, executives, and high achievers often find themselves in leadership roles because they were the ones with the answers. Expertise was the currency of success.

But what happens when the very strength that elevated you, confidence in your knowledge, becomes a barrier to growth?

Welcome to the Confidence–Competence Trap: when being the “smartest in the room” quietly stifles curiosity, collaboration, and innovation.

Why This Becomes a Blind Spot

Leaders stuck in this trap often:

• Default to giving advice rather than asking questions
• Listen to respond rather than understand
• Assume clarity when what’s needed is exploration
• Feel pressure to prove their competence in every situation

The problem? Authority without curiosity leads to blind spots, disengagement, and missed opportunities. I had a client once who received feedback on his 360 assessment that his people found him very knowledgeable but they wished he’d ask for their input more. He said he lived by the dictum, “do the right thing.” When I asked him, “what if the right thing is to do nothing,” it totally took him off guard. He had never pictured that the right thing might not require action on his part.

Insight: Great Leaders Don’t Need to Have All the Answers

In fact, the most respected leaders don’t make themselves the center, they create environments where others shine.

That doesn’t mean withholding your knowledge. It means holding space for others to develop theirs.
It means listening with intention.
It means staying curious, even when you think you already know.

Reflection Question:

Do I listen to solve or listen to understand? 

From Expert to Coach: Ask Better Questions

If you want to shift from directing to developing your team, here’s your toolkit:
Inspired by The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier, these 7 questions help reframe your conversations and unlock potential in others.

1. The Kickstart Question:
   “What’s on your mind?”
   Opens space for what matters most to them, not what’s on your agenda.
2. The AWE Question:
   “And what else?”
   Often the best insights come after the first answer. This one keeps digging.
3. The Focus Question:
   “What’s the real challenge here for you?”
   Cuts through the noise and zeroes in on the real issue not the surface-level complaint.
4. The Foundation Question:
   “What do you want?”
   Clarifies needs, expectations, and goals, yours and theirs.
5. The Lazy Question:
   “How can I help?”
   Stops you from assuming you know what they need and empowers ownership.
6. The Strategic Question:
   “If you’re saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?”
   Helps prioritize and clarify trade-offs. Especially useful in a world of overwhelmed teams.
7. The Learning Question:
   “What was most useful for you?”
   Reinforces insight and creates a learning loop for both of you.

A Better Way Forward: Practice Humble Curiosity

You don’t lose authority by asking questions, you gain trust.
You don’t lose your value by listening more, you amplify your impact.
You don’t stop being the expert, you become a better, wiser version of one.

This shift from answer-giver to space-maker is what transforms a competent professional into an influential leader.